Hello and happy starting the week, everyone!

As you know, Memberships are coming up, and while I did a little bit of testing of the membership system in this post, I’ve decided to simply release a sample essay that I created for IGCSE 0500 Directed Writing and Composition in the membership section right here, in the form of a descriptive essay that I hope is going to inspire you to achieve greater heights.

There are many things that I will personally be doing in the upcoming week, ranging from establishing the membership structures (which will involve creating a structure that will be valuable for you all and also fair and viable for the sake of launching and sustaining this site), getting the plans right, and also requesting institutional access – if it is possible, I would like for schools to offer the paid version of this resource to their students for free, although students and teachers may also request individual access as well (if you would like to assist, do speak to your head of school in order to make this product accessible!)

Anyway, do excuse my planning out loud.

Here’s the sample essay accompanied by associated commentary!

Descriptive Writing

Prompt: Describe the moment you receive some welcome news. (Question 3, IGCSE English 0500, Summer 2021, Question Paper 2, Variant 1).

Essay:

The languid afternoon sun cast its honeyed glow upon my bedroom, drenching my worn-out study desk in a warm embrace. Amidst the scattered papers and books, a small silver laptop blinked with an unassuming notification, a beacon of hope in the sea of academic debris. With trepidation, I reached out, my fingers hovering above the touchpad, hesitating. The weight of anticipation and dreams hung heavily in the air, suffocating me as I steeled myself to face the outcome.

As I clicked the email, my heart thundered in my chest, threatening to burst out of its cage. The words “Cambridge University” blazed across the screen like a brilliant constellation. My mind raced, a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions, as I searched for the elusive verdict within the meticulously crafted message. Then, there it was – the phrase I had yearned for: “We are pleased to inform you…”

A tidal wave of euphoria surged through me, lifting me to the celestial heavens. The moment felt surreal, as though I were cradled in the gossamer embrace of a dream, too fragile to hold, too precious to release. My eyes stung with unshed tears, a kaleidoscope of gratitude, pride, and relief.

The room seemed to burst into life, as if sharing in my joy; the sun danced merrily on the windowsill, the leaves outside rustled in excited whispers, and the warm air hummed with the promise of a thousand possibilities. I leaped up, my laughter bubbling over, intertwining with the vibrant melody of the world outside.

With every heartbeat, my future unfurled before me – the hallowed halls of Cambridge, the scent of leather-bound books, the animated discussions echoing in lecture rooms, and the chance to shape a more just world. My journey to study Law at Cambridge had begun, and my spirit soared, ready to embrace the challenges and triumphs that lay ahead.

The prospect of studying Law at Cambridge held a profound significance for me. As a child, I had witnessed the transformative power of justice and the importance of equality in society. I dreamt of becoming a catalyst for change, of fighting for those who could not fight for themselves. With this acceptance, I had taken the first step towards realizing that dream.

I imagined the countless hours I would spend delving into the intricacies of legal systems, dissecting case studies, and engaging in spirited debates with my peers. This was my chance to learn from the brightest minds, to grow and hone my skills as an aspiring lawyer, and to forge a path that would enable me to make a tangible impact in the world.

My thoughts drifted to the formidable challenges that awaited me, from the rigorous academic demands to the inevitable moments of self-doubt. Yet, I found solace in knowing that I was prepared to embrace these obstacles, to learn and grow from each experience. The road ahead was daunting, but I welcomed it with open arms, eager to embark on this extraordinary journey.

Word count: 448

Comment:

The essay demonstrates excellence in content (W1) and structure (W2) by creating a complex, engaging, and effective narrative. The rich descriptions and vivid imagery (“honeyed glow,” “beacon of hope,” “brilliant constellation”) create an emotional impact on the reader, while the storyline is well-developed and unfolds progressively.

The essay also delves into the personal significance of studying Law, providing a more profound connection to the writer’s aspirations and dreams. This aspect contributes to the complexity and effectiveness of the content (W1).

The language used is precise and well-chosen (W3), with varied sentence structures that contribute to the overall impact of the essay. The consistent and appropriate register (W4) is suitable for the context, while the spelling, punctuation, and grammar are almost always accurate (W5), ensuring clarity and a smooth reading experience.

The structure (W2) of the essay is carefully managed, creating a balanced and deliberate effect. The essay begins with a captivating introduction, setting the scene and building anticipation. It then transitions smoothly into the revelation of the welcome news and the emotional response, followed by an exploration of the personal significance of studying Law and the future challenges. This structure allows the reader to connect with the writer’s emotions and aspirations on a deeper level.

In terms of improvement, the writer could potentially delve deeper into specific aspects of their passion for Law, sharing more personal anecdotes or experiences that led them to pursue this field. This would further enhance the emotional connection with the reader.

Additionally, the writer may consider learning from authors such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, known for his evocative descriptions and captivating prose. Studying Fitzgerald’s work, such as “The Great Gatsby,” could offer valuable insights into creating vivid imagery and further refining the writer’s descriptive skills.

In conclusion, the essay effectively meets the criteria (W1 to W5) and deserves a high grade due to its engaging content, well-managed structure, precise language, appropriate register, and accuracy in spelling, punctuation, and grammar. The vivid descriptions and the exploration of the personal significance of studying Law at Cambridge create a profound emotional impact on the reader, making this essay a compelling and memorable piece.

More IGCSE English 0500 sample answers for Descriptive Composition will be coming up soon, so stay tuned!

V.